HOW TO SURVIVE HIGH SCHOOL THE STORYONE DAY I REALIZED THE ONLY WAY TO SURVIVE IN HIGHSCHOOL IS TO GOON IN THE BATHROOM STALLS USUALLY I WOULD USE MY CELLPHONE WHICH HAD OVER A TB OF GOONHOG MATERIAL ON IT HOWEVER TODAY I HAD MY EXTERNAL PLUGGED INTO MY SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK THINGS WERE GOING GOOD WAS I PERHAPS TAKING THIS TOO FAR PERCHANCE BUT ON THIS DAY I WAS FEELING ESPECIALLY GUTSY IN MY ABILITY TO GOON UMM UN WHATS THE WORD IM LOOKING FOR UNDISTURBED SO TO ADD A LAYER TO MY GOONING ACTIVITIES I DECIDED TO LEAVE THE STALL DOOR OPEN LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT WAS THE GREATEST DECISION I WOULD EVER MAKE AS I WAS MID GOON ABOUT TO BLOW THE QUARTERBACK™ OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM WALKED INTO THE BATHROOM I HAD TO ESTABLISH MY DOM ENERGY SO I RAPED HIM IN THE BATHROOM AS WORD GOT TO THE STUDENTS THAT I HAD DOMINATED CHAD WITH MY RAPING ABILITY I QUICKLY BECAME THE MOST RESPECTED GUY IN SCHOOL EVERYONE LOVED ME WHEREVER I WOULD GO PEOPLE WOULD CALL OUT HEY ITS THE BATHROOM RAPIST PEOPLE WOULD PAT ME ON THE BACK ONE DAY I OPENED MY LOCKER AND POURED OUT OF IT THOUSANDS OF LOVE LETTERS WITH THE NUDES PEPPERING ALL OVER THE FLOOR LIKE A MILLION COCKROACHES BUT BECAUSE I WAS A TRUE GOONCEL I DIDNT OPEN OR READ ANY OF THEM AND JUST WATCHED AS THE BETA NERDS GOT TO WORK RABIDLY COLLECTING THE PHOTOS FOR LATER BUT THERE IS ALWAYS A GREAT WALL OF CHINA TO MY MONGOL PUSSY HORDE THE JANITOR CARL CARL HAD PREVIOUSLY REPORTED ME TO THE POLICE FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE HE DIDNT UNDERSTAND GOONMAXXING AND HE NEEDED TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON I FOUND HIM WALKING INTO THE MAINTENANCE SHED AFTER SCHOOL HIS SUPPLE ASSCHEEKS GLISTENING IN THE SUN OH HELLO ELLIOT I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOUD COME TO APOLOGIZE FOR CLOGGING THE STAFF TOILET WITH YOUR THICK MAGMA UBERMENSCH ROPES I CLENCHED MY NINTENDO SWITCH™ AND READIED FOR BATTLE IM NOT HERE TO APOLOGIZE IM HERE TO TEACH YOU A LESSON I STRUCK HIM IN THE TEMPLE WITH MY SWITCH AND GRABBED HIM BY THE ASS AS HE TRIED TO CRAWL AWAY YOURE NOT GOING ANYWHERE MOTHERFUCKER I SHOVED MY INCEL IRONCOCK INTO HIS 48 YEAR CARL BRUTANANADILEWSKI HAIRY THUG ASSHOLE AND RAVISHED HIM UNTIL HE CRIED I LET OUT MY BATTLE SCREAM A BEING REBORN IN THE FIERY CRUCIBLE OF SEXUAL ASSAULT POOP AROUND IT I AINT PULLING OUTJUST ANOTHER BETA FAGGOT IMPLODED BY MY COCK I PUT ON MY RAYBANS™ AND STRUTTED BACK INTO THE SCHOOL LOWER HALF DRIPPING WITH SEXUAL FLUIDS AND POOP THIS RAISED MY SMV (SEXUAL MARKET VALUE) BY ALMOST 250% THIS BOOSTED MY CREDIT SCORE AND ALL THE ASIAN SLUTS WANTED A PIECE AS I EXERTED MY ARYAN VRIL TO EVERYONE AROUND ME I HEARD A VOICE FROM BEHIND ME HEY FAGGOT I TURNED AROUND TO SEE THE FUCKIN QUARTERBACK™ OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM GUESS HE WAS UP FOR SECONDS I COULD FEEL HIS ANGER AT ME AND MY COCK AS HE ADVANCED AGGRESSIVELY UP INTO MY SHIT I SLAPPED HIM WITH THE QUICKNESS OF A TIGER AND WITH THE STRENGTH OF A PRAYING MANTIS I GRABBED HIS COCK AND BALLS IN FRONT OF EVERY GIRL IN THE SCHOOL ILL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH A REAL GOONCEL I SAID WITH THE FORCE OF TEN MILLION CHINESE FACTORY WORKERS I REMOVED HIS SCROTUM FROM HIS CROTCH THE OTHER STUDENTS LATER SAID THAT SOUND OF HIS SCREAM COULD BE HEARD FIVE MILES OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL BUILDING HIGH PITCHED ENOUGH TO BREAK EVERY KIND OF GLASS AND MADE EVERYONE INCLUDING ME DEAF INSTANTLY FOR A MOMENTARY TIME UNSURPRISINGLY AS HE HAD LOST HIS MANHOOD AND SOURCE OF COCKPRIDE THE STUDENT BODY STARED IN AWE AS THE QUARTERBACK™ WRITHED IN PAIN ON THE SQUEAKY HARDWOOD GYM FLOORS OF THE SCHOOL THE POOL OF BLOOD RISING FROM WHERE HIS FORMERCOCK HAD BEEN AFTER THIS EVERY GIRL WITHIN A TENMILE RADIUS BECAME PREGNANT INSTANTLY WITH MY SEED MY SEED WAS SO POTENT FROM YEARS OF TRAINING GOONING JELQING AS HARD AS I COULD RIPPING AND TEARING AT THE BASE OF MY WEEWEE THAT THE WOMEN GAVE BIRTH IMMEDIATELY KILLING ALL OF THE BABIES BECAUSE THEY WERE WAY TOO PREMATURE TO BE BORN EXCEPT FOR ONE WHO HAD DOWN SYNDROME HE WAS BORN WITH ICE BLUE EYES MUSCULAR 62 WITH A SEXY SLEEK SQUARE JAW HE WAS JUST LIKE ME WHAT DID I NAME HIM ADOLF HITLER (TRANSLATOR NOTE NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE OTHER GUY) ADOLF MY NEWBORN SON GO FORTH AND TEACH THE MALE STUDENTS OUR WAYS AND RETURN WHEN 100% OF THE PUPILS HAVE BECOME MEMBERS OF OUR SECRET SECT I BASKED IN MY OWN EXCELLENCE I WENT HOME THAT DAY TO MY MOMMY SATISFIED WHEN I GOT HOME I DECIDED TO HOP ON ROBLOXCOM IT WAS MY FAVORITE VIDEO GAME WEBSITE I WOULD HOP ONTO THE EPIC BATTLE ROLEPLAY SERVERS PLAYING AS THE ULTIMATE DOUBLEHANDED AXWIELDER MY DEVASTATING ATTACKS WOULD CUT THE ENEMY IN HALF AND THEY WOULD FLEE IN FEAR I MET A GIRL IN THIS GAME BUT ILL GET TO THIS LATER ANYWAY SOME GUY CALLED MY ROBLOX FACE GAY I KNEW THAT IF I LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THIS ALL THE 12 YEAR OLD ROBLOX HOES WOULD LAUGH AT ME SO I DOXXED HIM ( ON 4CHAN) THEN I REACHED THROUGH THE COMPUTER SCREEN RIPPED HIM THROUGH IT (BREAKING SEVERAL BONES IN THE PROCESS) THEN I FED HIM TABS OF ACID UNTIL I KNEW WHEN I RELEASED HIM HE WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME AND WOULD SPEND HIS TIME AS A HOMELESS MAN JERKING OFF TO BRAZZERS IN PUBLIC LIBRARIES THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS BY THE WAY IM SERIOUS THIS IS TRUE THEY DO THIS THEY EVEN DO IT ON PUBLIC SIDEWALKS AND PARKS SUBWAYS AND ALSO PLANES SOMETIMES IF YOU CAN PEEK THROUGH THE KEYHOLE ON THE BATHROOM STALL ALSO THEY KIND OF JUST DO THIS ALL THE TIME WHEN I WAS PLAYING ROBLOX LAST NIGHT AT MIDNIGHT I MESSAGED MY EXGIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I KNEW SHE HAD ALREADY FOUND SOMEONE ELSE I TOLD HER I HAD 30000 ROBUX IN MY WALLET AND 100K (ROBUX ALSO) IN THE BANK I TOLD HER ABOUT HOW IM SUCH A REAL CLOWNMAXXING GOONCEL SAMURAI CHAD ITS BEEN 3 DAYS SINCE I SENT THE TEXT AND THERE IS A STRANGE CAR SITTING OUTSIDE MY RUN DOWN APARTMENT IT HASNT MOVED IN 12 HOURS AND THE OWNER HAS NOT EXITED THE VEHICLE THIS CAUSED ME TO MISS 3 DAYS OF HIGH SCHOOL STUDIES SINCE AS A SAMURAI CHAD I HAVE TO DEFEND MY LAND AND MY PEOPLE THE CAR HAS NO LICENSE PLATES BUT IT HAS A BUMPER STICKER FEATURING VINCE MCMAHON BASED ITS A SHAME ILL HAVE TO FIGHT AND KILL ANOTHER GIGACHAD AMERICAN DAIMYO I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY GASLIGHTED MY PARENTS INTO BUYING ME ALCOHOL I HAVE DRUNK SO MUCH THAT I NOW HAVE THE RED FACE OF A JAPANESE PROSTITUTE NOBODY LOOKS AT ME THE SAME MEANWHILE IN THE NUCLEAR WASTES OF DES MOINE IOWA MAN I SURE DO LOVE SUCKING COCK SAID GUM SLUG MAN HIS GUM SLUG BALD HEAD SHINED IN THE SUNLIGHT AS HE GROPED HIS UNCIRCUMCISED CHODE LOG HIS ATOMIC DORSAL PINKIE WAS A FULLY ERECT 2 INCHES LONG AND 6 INCHES WIDE HE GOONED HIS ABOMINATION AS HE WHISTLED DIXIE IMAGINING HIMSELF BEING THE RESIDENT BUTT BLASTED DRUMMER BOY IN A SECOND AMERICAN CIVIL WAR TAKING COCK FROM SEVERAL DIFFERENT MEN WOMEN AND VARIOUS OTHER GENDER NEUTERED THINGS HIS MOTHER KICKED DOWN THE DOOR FILLED WITH RAGE THAT THE REPUGNANT SPAWN THAT CRAWLED OUT OF HER NASTY SNATCH ONCE AGAIN DISAPPOINTED HER IMMENSELY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING NIGGA SHE BELLOWED MEANWHILE 50 YEARS IN THE FUTURE GUM SLUG MAN IS BORN 49 BG (BEFORE GUMSLUGMAN) ADOLF DESCENDS THE SUN WAS SETTING IN THE WEST THE BIRDS WERE SINGING ON EVERY TREE THOUGH NATURE SEEMED TO BE AT REST THERE WERE BRAZILIANS COMING FOR ME BRAZILIANS EJACULATED THEMSELVES OVER OUR BORDERS A FULL ON INVASION YOU SHOULDVE SEEN IT JESSE I THINK I SHAT MYSELF NOT THEN BUT NOW POOP IS COMING OUT OF MY ASSHOLE PEACE RONALD REAGANS DEATH POEM I HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE FROM ALL THE BANGERASS CHINESE DOLLAR STORE PILLS IVE STUFFED MY NOSE WITH (IT HURTSBUT NOT TOO MUCH ) IW ONT STOP D) IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE NOOOOOO GAY SEX 0OH FUCK IM CUMMING DEEP IN THE WHITE SANDS DESERT A BUNKER LIES IN THIS BUNKER IS HAHAHAHAA FUCK YOU THERE AINT SHIT THATS GOVERNMENT PROPERTY NYIIGGUUUH1 THE YEAR WAS 2577 NUCLEAR WAR HAS CONSUMED THESE ARYAN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA OUR LAST PRESIDENT MECHA DONALD TRUMP III DIED A WARRIORS DEATH FIGHTING OFF HORDES OF NEOCOLOMBIANS WITHOUT NUMBER INITIATING TOTAL ANNIHILATION AND RAINING GAMERSTRAIN ELEMENTAL PHOSPHORUS CRYSTALS OVER ALL THEIR CAMPS WIPING OUT THEIR FAMILIES IN THE GREATEST WAR ATROCITY EVER DEVISED BY THE MAGATRUMPIST JEWISH ELITE SINCE THE GREAT SPACE LAZZERING OF 87 (WRITE IT DOWN) ANYWAY BACK TO HIGHSCHOOL I WAS STROKING MY DICK WHEN THE CLEVELAND OHIO GAY PORN DIRECTOR WALKED IN UH OH I EXPECTED TO GET BIDEN BLASTED THROUGH NINE HELLS BUT INSTEAD HE TOOK ON A FATHERLY TONE AND HIS WORDS MOVED MY HEART THIS ILLBEFITS THE ARYAN WARRIOR AND SO I GAVE UP FULLCONTACT GOONING FOREVER SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN THIS LIFESTYLE ISNT EASY FIRST OF ALL ONLY PARTIAL CONTACT GOONING IS ALLOWED YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS RIDING THE LINE BETWEEN PARTIAL AND FULL GOONING I AM A HUMBLE MAN AND HERE I ADMIT I AM NOT THAT STRONG HENCEFORTH I ABANDONED GOONING ALTOGETHER SECOND BUT EQUAL IN IMPORTANCE YOU CAN HAVE SEX MAYBE A LITTLE BIT BUT YOU CANT CUM THIRD I CANT COUNT THAT HIGH WERE DONE HERE ONWARDS TO GREATER THINGS FOR THE BANNER OF ISLAM SEMEN RETENTION IS AN ANCIENT PRACTICE DEVELOPED SYNCHRONOUSLY WITHOUT COMMUNICATIONS IN ALL ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS WORTHY OF NOTE THEY WROTE MANY A BOOK DEBATING THE INTRICACIES OF THIS SUBJECT BOUNDLESS AS IT IS LIKE THE SEA I CANT READ BUT IM A NATURAL INSTINCTUALTYPE GENERAL LIKE IN THOSE BAD JAPANESE CARTOONS THAT DRAG ON FOREVER WHAT A FUCKING DISGRACE I FOUND HIM COLLAPSED FORWARDS IN A STALL HIS HAIR IN THE TOILET WATER DISGUSTING ANYWAY FOURTH PERIOD ENGLISH WAS ABOUT TO START AND I HAD TO GET GOING MY ENGLISH TEACHER MR SHLUNGUS IS A TOTAL BITCH IM SURE HE HAS IT OUT FOR ME IF NOT FOR MY REPUTATION IN THIS SCHOOL IM SURE HE WOULD HAVE FAILED ME BY NOW BUT THE DIRECTOR THE DIRECTOR IS MY GUY IM SURE HELL FIRE THAT FAGGOT SHLUNGUS ONE DAY FOR SURE BUT THAT DAY HASNT COME YET AND MY ASS WAS STUCK IN ENGLISH CLASS TODAYS SUBJECT HEGELIAN DIALECTICS FUCK THAT THATS THE LAST FUCKING THING I WANTED TO DO TODAY THIS WAS IT THIS WAS THE DAY THE DAY THE FAMISHED DOWNTRODDEN MASSES FINALLY HAD ENOUGH AND SO I STOOD UP AND POINTED AT THE TEACHER MY CLASS OF BROTHERS QUAKING IN ANTICIPATION AT MY MOMENT OF SILENCE I RAISED AND BENT MY ARMS IN THE MANNER OF THE GREAT ORATORS OF ROME AND SPOKE IN A MONARCHS VOICE BEAT HIM WITH HAMMERS THE CLASS ROSE UP IN A MIGHTY ROAR THEY SURGED FORWARD AND FELL ON THE WORLD LIKE A WAVE OVERTURNING DESKS AND SHATTERING CHAIRS SWALLOWING EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH SHLUNGUS EYES GLAZED OVER AND TIME STOPPED FEARING DESTRUCTION HIS SOUL LEFT HIS BODY FOR THE WARM CONFINES OF THE CIA MIND UPLINK OVERWHELMING VICTORY NEUROLOGICAL CATASTROPHE OUR OPPOSITION CRUSHED AND OUR CONQUEST ABSOLUTE WE REJOICED AS BROTHERS DO DOWNING LIQUOR AND SEIZING THE KEYS TO OUR DESTINY ON THE HIGHWAYS OF THE WORLD BOTTLES IN HAND WE WERE ON TRACK TO CONQUER ALL BUT THEN ISRAEL ATTACKED TIME FOR GYM CLASS FUCK I FUCKING HATE DODGEBALL DAY FUCK STUPID FUCKING GYM TEACHER SOMEONE OF MY STATUS SHOULDNT BE SUBJECTED TO SUCH A USELESS ACTIVITY SKIPPING CLASS IS OK IF ITS FUCKING STUPID RIGHT WAIT I KNOW WHAT I CAN DO I CAN TAKE REVENGE ON ALL THE POPULAR WOMEN AND STACIES WHO REJECTED ME I GRAB MY BUCK KNIFE AND CARVE ELLIOT RODGERS FACE ONTO MY ASS AND GET INTO MY CHEAP USED BMW AND BEGIN DRIVING TO THE ALPHA PHI SORORITY HOUSE WITH A GLOCK I KNOCK ON THE DOOR BUT THEY WONT LET ME IN SO I SHOOT 5 PASSERS BY AND CRASH MY BMW INTO A LAMPOST AND DIE VIA SELFINFLICTED GUNSHOT WOUND SAN ANDREAS (HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED THAT GAME ITS PRETTY GOOD) THEN AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN GOD (WHO HAS TAKEN THE FORM OF RICHARD SIMMONS) SPEAKS TO ME AND TELLS ME THE TRUTH ABOUT SOCIETY HERES THE FUCKIN THING CUNT YOU GOTTA FUCKING GOD PAUSES TO SIP HIS LEAN AND TAKE A MASSIVE BONG RIP OUT OF A GATORADE GRAVITY BOTTLE AS HIS NIKE AIR MAX TNSS GLISTEN IN THE LIGHTS OF THE PEARLY GATES AND HIS FAKE ADIDAS TRACKSUIT GLISTENS WITH ALL THE SPIRITUAL POWER IN THE UNIVERSE OH FUCK MAN THAT WAS SOME FUCKING GREEN CRACK THINK MY DOG CUNT KIWI FUCKWIT LACED IT WITH FUCKING KET AGAIN THE HORROR FUCKING ALLAH THAT PIECE OF SHIT ANYWAY WHAT WAS I SAYING OH YEAH YOUR INCEL CRUSADE ISNT OVER GOD RESTORES MY SOUL AND BODY TO ME AND SENDS ME BACK TO EARTH INSIDE OF A JEWISH KIDS SCHOOL MY BODY HAS BEEN RENDERED HOLY AND IMMUTABLE TAKING THE INNATE THULEAN VRIL OF THE UNIVERSE AND BINDING IT WITH MY MUSCLE AND FLESH I WAS NAKED IN A JEWISH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WITH NOTHING BUT AN 11 FOOT PENIS AND A 55 GALLON DRUM OF ELEPHANT VIAGRA UNDER MY ARM THE HOLY SPIRIT CAME TO ME ONCE AGAINYOU MUST BREED OUT THE ENTIRE JEWISH RACE I AGREED ALTHOUGH I PROCEEDED TO LEAVE THE KIDS SCHOOL BECAUSE THIS TIME GOD LOOKED LIKE BILL COSBY INSTEAD OF RICHARD SIMMONS AND I AINT ABOUT THAT I WALK OUTSIDE AND STOMP A FAT INDIAN WOMAN TO DEATH WITH MY ISKANDER SIZED DONG ON MY WAY TO AN OLD PERSONS HOME HEH IF YOU WANNA DESTROY THE BLACKROCK JEWISH WORLD GOVERNMENT YOU GOTTA START AT THE TOP TIME TO DUST OFF SOME COBWEBS WITH PRECISION BACKED BY BLUNT FORCE PENILE TRAUMA (REBEL PATH STARTS PLAYING)TIME FOR FIFTH PERIOD MATH FIFTH PERIOD MATH WERE PLAYING WITH SHAPES HOMO SHAPES NAH I AM SITTING AT THE BACK OF THE CLASS EMMA SILVERSTONE IS AT THE FRONT OF THE CLASS SHE IS SO DREAMY I WOULD LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING TO TAKE HER OUT ON A NICE DATE AT A FANCY RESTAURANT JK LOL I WANNA SHOVE MY WEINER IN HER BUM NO NEED TO BE CORDIAL WHEN IM A THUG GANGSTER THOROUGHBRED REAL NIGGA OBLOCK (NIGGA) I USE MY STAND DANCE WITH THE DEVIL AND SMASH THE TEACHERS FACE OPEN AND REMOVE HIS BRAINS YES HUMAN BRAIN IS THE BEST LUBRICANT THAT AND OLIVE OIL I LUBE UP MY ASS USING MR JACKSONS (MATH FAGTEACHER) BRAIN AND THEN PROCEED TO USE MY STAND POWER TO EXTENDED MY ANAL CIRCUMFERENCE TO BY A MEASURE OF NEARLY 2 METRES (6 FEET FOR YALL IN THE STATES) GRETA THUNBERG WHO SITS BEHIND ME IN 5TH PERIOD MATH CLASS STARTED TO FEEL A GROWING WETNESS UNDER HER ADULT DIAPER THAT SHE WEARS (YOU KNOW HOW WET YOU GOTTA BE TO SOAK A DIAPER DUDE) INSIDE OF MY STOMACH IS ALSO A COPY OF EPSTIENS FORESKIN FROM BILL CLINTON AND MADE HIM A JEWISH SEX TRAFFICKER FUCK YOU PAY ME I FUCK JEWISH ABIES LIKE SLAVERY JUST ANOTHER REASON IM A THUG GANGSTER THOROUGHBRED REAL NIGGA MAN THIS IS CRAZY THIS IS ALMOST LIKE THE TIME I PLAYED GOLF WITH OJ SIMPSON BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT FROM MY ELOCUTION AND THE TONE OF MY VOICE YOU CAN TELL I AM NOT CAPPING I AM IN FACT A VERY HIGH NET WORTH INDIVIDUAL WELLCONNECTED AND ALLOWED NEAR THE LEVERS OF POWER I MOVED TO THE USA FOR EASIER ACCESS TO AOC (HTTPS//ENWIKIPEDIAORG/WIKI/ALEXANDRIA_OCASIOCORTEZ) RETARD FOOTJOB PORN BUT SINCE THEN I HAVE GROWN WEARY AND MY PARENTS ARE CONCERNED ABOUT MY FUTURE PROSPECTS AS A BITCOIN THEFT PROTECTION ENGINEER SO OUT OF FILIAL PIETY I WENT BACK TO MY SHITTY HIGHSCHOOL NEARLY AS BAD AS THAT TIME I GOT EXPLODED INTO A MILLION BITS BY HAMAS MISSILES AIMED AT THE TWIN TOWERS SOUL EXTRACTION PROGRAM AND HAD TO BE ATOMICALLY RECONSTRUCTED UNDER OUR GOVERNMENTS GREAT HEALTHCARE COVERAGE PROGRAM BUT NOT AS ME BUT AS A CLONE LIKE IN THE HIT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE TERMINATOR 3 WHERE THEY TURN A CAT INTO A LAWNMOWER I CAME BACK IN A HELLCAT WITH OVER A HUNDRED GRAMS UNDER THE HOOD WHICH COOKED FROM THE HEAT FROM MY ALLCUSTOM 1000HP TRIPLECYCLED V8 ORPHANBURSTER ENGINE I MADE IT OVER THE BORDER WITHOUT INCIDENT AT THIS POINT I SAW A CUTE IMMIGRANT GIRL CRYING ON THE CONCRETE SIDEWALK I THOUGHT OF THE BEST WAY TO APPROACH THE LOWER CASTES HEY BITCH WERE THE WORDS THAT FIRST LEFT MY MOUTH WHATS POPPING SHE GAVE ME THE FLUORIDE STARE I MADE A 360 DEGREE TURN AND WALKED AWAY (LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON 30 YEARS EARLIER WITH MY COCK TURNED IN THE OTHER DIRECTION SIGNIFYING THAT I WAS GONE FOREVER AND WOULDNT EVER COME BACK FOR PUSSY EVEN IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT SO IS THE WAY OF THE SAMURAI) IVE BEEN SHOOTING BLANKS THIS WHOLE TIME SO I THOUGHT MAYBE I SHOULD VISIT SINGAPORE I HEARD OVER THERE IF YOURE TAKEN IN BY POLICE WITH ANY AMOUNT OF COCAINE ON YOU AND REALLY ANY AMOUNT YOURE EXECUTED ON THE SPOT SO I TURNED TO GAMBLING FROM THEN ON I KNEW MY BEST DAYS WERE OVER THE BEACH WAVES CRASH ON THE BEACH AS I SIT OUT AND LOOK OVER THE HORIZON ITS 632 15/03/2009 I PROMISED I WOULDNT HIT HER AGAIN AND I BROKE THAT PROMISE AND IM ASHAMED OF MYSELF THROUGH GLASS SPEAKS TO ME THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY 1987 IROC CAMARO AS I WIND THE SHOELACE AROUND MY ARM AND GET READY FOR THE HEROIN SYRINGE TO CUM IN MY ARM IT FEELS BLISSFUL AND IT MAKES MY PAIN DISAPPEAR I STOP IN AT THE LIQUOR STORE ON THE WAY HOME AND BUY A LITRE OF SMIRNOFF AS I PARK ON THE FRONT LAWN OF MY HOUSE IM LOOKING AT THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW OF MY HOUSE AND I DONT SEE LOVE I SEE FEAR ESPECIALLY MY DAUGHTER SHE SAYS I FORCED MYSELF ON HER WHILE STRUNG OUT BUT I DONT BELIEVE IT SHES TOO FAT AND IM NOT EVEN HER REAL FATHER ANYWAY SO EVEN IF I DID IT WOULDNT BE A BAD THING I STEP INSIDE THE FRONT DOOR AND LOOK AT THE FIST SHAPED HOLES IN THE WALL THAT I HAVENT REPAIRED MY WIFE IS PUTTING MAKEUP ON THE BRUISES OF MY (SUPPOSED) CHILDREN TO HIDE THEM BECAUSE WE ARE ON THE WAY TO HER DADS FUNERAL I UNDERSTAND THAT KINDA THING CAN MAKE SOMEONE A BIT EDGY BUT WHY DOES SHE FORCE ME TO HIT HER THAT I WILL NEVER KNOW I GET INTO MY LAMBO AND A TON OF SICK BURNOUTS AND ITS SUPER COOL AND EVERYONE LOVES ME AGAIN I KEEP LOOKING AT THE SKY AT NIGHT I FEEL LIKE THEYRE ALL STARING BACK STARING MILLIONS OF EYES TENFOLD EYES STARING COME DOWN YOU BASTARDS DAMN COWARDS I THINK BUT MY MOUTH DOES NOT MOVE IN AWE IN AWE FIGHTING IN THE DIRT I NEED ANOTHER HIT I CANT WAIT TO GO HOME FROM MY 6AM TO 1PM AMAZON WAREHOUSE JOB PLAY METAL GEAR RISING REVENGEANCE AND LAZILY HELICOPTER MY DICK FOR 5 HOURS I MIGHT WATCH SIGNALIS SFM PORN BUT IM FEELING MORE TF2 TONIGHT MIND YOU I DONT MASTURBATE I JUST LIKE SEEING VIDEO GAME CHARACHTERS FUCK FOR MY ENJOYMENT IM THE GODDAMN POPE IM PISSIN THE PISSIN POPE I AM THE PISSING POPE THE PISSING POPE OF PISS POPE OF PISS PISSPOPE PISS POPE POPE OF PISS PISSING PISS POPE OF PISSING PISS PISS PISSING PISS POPE PISSING A BIG PISS PISS OFF THE PISS POPE AND GET PISSED ON LAST NIGHT I DOWNED 2 FOUR LOKO USAS AND SMOKED HALF A PACK OF NEWPORTS BEHIND A LOCAL QUICK TRACK GAS STATION I MAY HAVE SMOKED A J WITH ONE OF THE LOCAL CRAZIES WHO LIVES IN A TRASH CAN LIKE FUCKING OSCAR FROM SESAME STREET ANYWAY WHEN I WOKE UP I WAS IN AN ALLEYWAY I RECOGNIZED BECAUSE ITS A 15 MINUTE WALK FROM MY GRANDMAS PLACE ANYWAY I WOKE UP NEXT TO THIS 5 FOOT 3 INCH TALL FILIPINO WOMAN SHE HAD A CLEAR TUBE SHOVED UP HER ASS AND NEARBY WAS AN EMPTY BOTTLE OF CAPTAIN MORGANS RUM I PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER GOT A FEW QUICK PICS AND RUBBED ONE WHEN SHE STARTED TO WAKE UP AND SO I BOLTED AND RESOLVED TO TRACK HER DOWN ONCE ME AND GRANDMA WERE DONE HARVESTING AND TRIMMING THE WEED WE WERE GROWING IN MY BROTHERS RV (THIS SECTION IS UP FOR DEBATE ON WHETHER OR NOT IT SHOULD BE DELETED DUE TO EXCESSIVE SEXUAL CONTENT) ART HOES MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE *GUITAR SOLO* OVERLAND POSTAL 2 IS A GREAT GAME MAN POSTAL 3 IS LIKE THE HALF LIFE OF THE POSTAL SERIES HALF LIFE IS LIKE THE HALF LIFE OF THE HALF LIFE SERIES POSTAL 2 IS A GREAT GAME MAN POSTAL 3 IS LIKE POSTAL 2 BUT THE THIRD ITS LIKE HALF LIFE EPISODE 1 AND 2 POSTAL 2 IS A GREAT GAME MAN POSTAL 3 IS LIKE THE HALF LIFE ALYX OF THE HALO FRANCHISE HALO 3 IS A GREAT GAME MAN POSTAL 3 IS LIKE THE HALO 3 OF THE KILLZONE SERIES HALO 3 IS A GREAT GAME MAN HALO 3 IS LIKE THE HALO 3 OF THE HALF LIFE SERIES HALO 2 IS A GREAT GAME MAN HALO 2 IS LIKE THE KILLZONE SHADOW FALL OF THE BANJO KAZOOIE SERIES PSP IS SUPERIOR TO THE SEGA CDR IT JUST IS IM NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO WITNESS THE RELEASE OF THOSE CONSOLES BUT ALL I CAN SAY IS POSTAL 2 IS A GREAT GAME MAN POSTAL 3 IS LIKE THE HALF LIFE OF THE POSTAL SERIES SLOP SUPREME INGREDIENTS 1LB GROUND BEEF 75% FAT + LOWER ½ POUND PANKO BREADCRUMBS BREAD CRUMBS GROUND UP STALE BAGEL ⅓ CUP OF STEEL RESERVE 211 3 CUPS OF CUMIN 1 CUP OF CHILI POWDER SALT + PEPPER TAPATIO HOT SAUCE INSTRUCTIONS PUT ALL INGREDIENTS IN THE POT (DO NOT PUT OIL IN THE POT) COOK UNTIL GRAY AND WATERY FEED CHAPTER 2 THUG ASS THE NEXT GENERATION I SIT HERE ON MY PORCELAIN THRONE PUSHING OUT A JARED FOGLE FOOTLONG SIZED TURD THINKING TO MYSELF HOW DID I GET HERE IM TAKING A SHIT IN A JEWISH CRACK HOUSE IT MATTERS NOT HOWEVER AS A BLACKJEWCHINESE HYBRID CRACK WHORE HAD GIVEN BIRTH TO A STILLBORN BABY OF MIXED RACE DESCENT AND WANTED TO DEPOSIT IT IN THE MIXEDRACECRACKBABYDISPOSALUNIT (THE JEWISH CRACKHOUSES TOILET) NOT WANTING TO BE A BOTHER I ELLIOT ROSTAR THE 2ND LEAVE THE CRACKSHITTER AND THE MOTHER TO THEIR TRAINSPOTTING™ NONSENSE MY DODGE RAM IS PARKED OUT THE FRONT AN IMPORTANT SIDENOTE IS THAT I OWN THE CRACKHOUSE AND IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO CALL PLUMBERS TO REGULARLY UNCLOG THE DRAINAGE SYSTEM OF DEAD MASHED UP JEWNEGRO HYBRID BABY CORPSES THAT IS THE NATURAL BYPRODUCT OF A CRACKHOUSE IN DOWNTOWN PORTLAND ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS BRANCH OF MY CRACK ENTERPRISE IS BUILT BETWEEN A SYNAGOGUE A PLANNED PARENTHOOD AND A WALGREENS ATTRACTING THE PERFECT MIXTURE OF JEWS NEGROS AND SLUTTY WHITE WHORES TO CONGREGATE ON MY FACILITY FOR CRACK COGNOSCENTI I ENTER MY DODGE RAM AND BEGIN DRIVING DOWN THE MAIN STREET SWITCHING LANES WITHOUT INDICATING AND DRIVING 10 KMPH BELOW THE LIMIT IN THE OVERTAKING LANE TRULY THE MOST DIABOLICAL OF ALL ACTIONS MY BLOODLINE HAS TAKEN IN OUR NONSENSICAL AND NONLINEAR ADVENTURES I PULL MY PHONE OUT AND HAVE MY PLUMBER ON SPEED DIAL AS A PROFESSIONAL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE A SOLID TEAM TO RESOLVE ISSUES SUCH AS THIS ONE BUT UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME MR BURKE MY PLUMBER WASNT ANSWERING HIS PHONE THIS WAS STRANGE AS MR YOSHI BURKE WAS A PRACTICING HASIDIC JEW AND WOULD NEVER TURN DOWN THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE MONEY AND DISPOSE OF INFANT CORPSES (SINCE THERE IS NOTHING JEWS LOVE MORE THAN DEAD BABIES EXCEPT FOR MAYBE HAVING SEX WITH THEM OR PICKING UP LOOSE CHANGE OFF THE GROUND) I DECIDE TO PAY MR BURKE A VISIT SURELY HE WAS ENGAGING IN MUNDANE JEWISH ACTIVITIES SUCH AS SEX WITH UNDERAGE BOYS AND NOT DEAD HOPEFULLY THEN ID HAVE TO HIRE A WETBACK AS A PLUMBER AND I DONT THINK HED ENJOY SCOOPING DEAD JEWISHNEGROWHITE HYBRID BABY MASHED STILLBORN FLESH OUT OF MY DRAINAGE SYSTEM AS MUCH AS MR BURKE WOULD MY DODGE RAM PARKS ACROSS 5 PARKING SPACES OUTSIDE HIS PLUMBING OFFICE WITH A COMICALLY OVERSIZED STAR OF DAVID WEARING A YAMAKA ON THE FRONT YOSHI HOROWITZ AND BURKE GAY JEWISH PLUMBERS I EXIT MY VEHICKLE WHILE HOT BLOODED BY FOREIGNER BLASTS FROM MY SUBWOOFER SYSTEM IT AMPLIFIES MY TESTOSTERONE TO UNHEARD OF LEVELS CAUSING EVERY FEMALE IN A 10KM RADIUS TO SIMULTANEOUSLY CLUTCH THEIR PEARLS AND VAGINAS AT THE MERE SCENT OF MY UNINHIBITED MASCULINE MUSK JUST LIKE A WOMAN WITH PURPLE HAIR THEY LOVE MY TOXIC MASCULINITY BUT WILL NEVER ADMIT IT STRANGE THE FRONT DOOR IS UNLOCKED SO IS THE SECRET SEX TRAFFICKING TUNNEL HE KEEPS IN HIS BUSHES THIS IS VERY UNUSUAL CONSIDERING HIS BUSINESS IS BUILT RIGHT ACROSS FROM A KFC AND MR BURKE WOULD NEVER LEAVE ANYTHING UNLOCKED OR UNATTENDED AROUND A CAPITALIST BEACON FOR NEGRO BARBARIANS I ENTER AND SHOUT OUT MR BURKE I HAVE MORE MIXED RACE JEWISHNEGROWHITE HYBRID STILLBORN BABIES FOR YOU TO SCRAPE OUT OF MY DRAINAGE SYSTEM STILL NO REPLY THIS IS REALLY VERY STRANGE USUALLY WHEN I SHOUTED OUT TO HIM LIKE THAT HE WOULD IMMEDIATELY COME RUNNING BUCK NAKED WITH A HARD ON AND A LUBED UP ASSHOLE OCCASIONALLY I WOULD USE MY BODY TO PAY MY FEES ALTHOUGH I MADE SURE THAT WE BOTH FOUND THIS ACTIVITY ENJOYABLE THEN I SAW IT ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF ME MY GOD I COULD HARDLY BREATHE OR THINK MY VISION BLURRED AND MY KNEES COLLAPSED UNDERNEATH ME THERE HE WAS MR BURKE DEAD ON THE GROUND WITH RED WHITE AND BLACK SEMEN LEAKING OUT OF HIS ASSHOLE INTO THE SHAPE OF A SWASTIKA ON THE COLD CONCRETE EITHER HE GOT FUCKED TO DEATH BY A MIXED RACE COMANCHE (HENCE THE RED CUM) OR SOMETHING SOMEHOW EVEN MORE SINISTER NAZIS NEO NAZIS MR BURKE WAS AN UPSTANDING INDIVIDUAL THE IMAGE OF THE PERFECT JEW AND THEY MURDERED HIM FOR IT SHAMEFUL I FELT SICK TO MY STOMACH SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE TO AVENGE HIM TO AVENGE THIS SWEET PRINCE OF A MAN I TURNED ON ANIMALS BY NICKELBACK AND READIED MY AR15 WHERE DO NAZIS HIDE IVE GOT IT THE NURSING HOME I HAVE A JOB TO DO CHAPTER 3 THUG ASS DEEP TIGHT HINE(Y) IN MY BACKYARD IS A HOLE APPROXIMATELY 3 FEET DEEP AND 5 BY 5 INCHES IN DIAMETER ITS A HOLE AND ITS IN MY BACKYARD I STORE BLOOD BAGS FULL OF CODEINE IN THIS HOLE I STORE RUSTY KNIVES AND THE GUNK FROM UNDERNEATH HOMELESS BLACK WOMENS TOENAILS I STEAL IT FROM THEM WHEN THEY SLEEP THEY NEVER NOTICE BUT WHEN THEY DO THEY CALL ME SUGAR AND IT MAKES MY HEART GO PITTER PATTER I STORE BLACK WOMEN IN THIS 5 BY 5 INCH 4 FOOT DEEP HOLE PLURAL THERE ARE MULTIPLE GROWN HUMAN WOMEN MASSING BETWEEN 90150 POUNDS AND MEASURING BETWEEN 5 FOOT 8 AND 5 FOOT 11 IN THIS HOLE THAT HAS A DIAMETER OF 5 INCHES AND A DEPTH OF FOUR FEET IF THIS IS THE CASE THE METH GNOMES MUST BE FUCKING WITH ME AGAIN I BET THOSE BASTARDS OVERRAN THE CODEINE STORAGE AND ARE GETTING HIGH AS SHIT NOW ALL I CAN DO IS HOPE THE 290 BLACK WOMEN IN MY 5 INCH BY 4 FOOT HOLE EAT THE INVADING HORDES OF GNOMES OR THAT THE GNOMES OVERDOSE BEFORE THEY DRINK ALL THE CODEINE GOD WILLING ALL MY LIFE I HAD BEEN TORN IN EACH AND EVERY DIRECTION BY CARICATURES OF THE PEOPLE AROUND ME NOT THE REAL THEM BUT THE IMAGE I HAD CREATED OF THEM IN MY HEAD THEY TAUNTED ME AND JABBED AT MY SIDES WITH SPEARS AS I WENT THROUGHOUT MY LIFE THE SMELL OF WEED AND CIGARETTES AND THE SOUND OF YELLING SMASHING GLASS AND SLAMMING DOORS FADED INTO THE BACKGROUND AND MANIFESTED ITSELF IN THE BACK OF MY MIND AS A GENERAL BAD FEELING THAT WOULD FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME WHEN MY BODY WANTED TO ACKNOWLEDGE THESE THINGS AND BRING THE MEMORY OF IT TO THE FOREFRONT THE BUBBLING FEELING WOULD BE PUT DOWN BY DRUGS AND ALCOHOL PROLONGING THE SENSE OF DREAD AND PARALYZING FEAR I FELT ON A DAILY BASIS ONE FATEFUL DAY WHEN I WAS ON YET ANOTHER BENDER I DECIDED I WOULD BECOME A TRULY FREE MAN AT ANY COST DEVOTING MYSELF TO A PERSONAL MISSION THEN I STARTED JERKIN AWFFFF STARTED PLAYING HACKEY SACK WITH MY WILLY WHILE WATCHING PAWN IT WAS GAY RETARDED MIDGET PORN HAVING A SHITWANK OUTSIDE A SYNAGOGUE WASNT MY TYPICAL IDEA OF A NICE FRIDAY USUALLY I LIKE RAPING DONKEYS BUT TODAY I DECIDED TO SCRAPE THE SHITWANK OFF MY COCK AND THROW IT AT JEWS WITH THE HATS AS I JACKED IT OVER TIME SLOWLY THROUGH THE PROCESS OF MECHANICAL PUMPING MY JUICES WOULD ERUPT AND I WOULD HOLD THE BILLIONS OF SPERM IN MY HANDS IMAGINING ALL THE LIFE POSSIBLE IN THIS LITTLE POOL WAS FASCINATING I THEN WALKED UP TO AN OLD JEWISH GUY AND STARTED RUBBING MY CUMHAND IN HIS FACE VIGOROUSLY AT FIRST HE RESISTED THROWING WILD HAYMAKERS KICKS AND IMPOTENTLY JERKING AND BUCKING WHEN I USED MY BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU SKILLS ON HIM (IF U KNOW A LOT ABOUT BJJ DELETE THIS AND WRITE A REALISTIC BJJ FIGHT SCENE) OVERSTEAK SOURCE THE RIGHT CUT OF STEAK THE STORE BOUGHT STUFF THATS AROUND AN INCH THICK CAN SUFFICE BUT OPTIMALLY YOU WANT SOMETHING FROM THE BUTCHERS DONT WORRY ABOUT ANY OF THAT WAGYU NONSENSE ANY CUT OF MEAT CAN BE GOOD IF YOU COOK IT PROPERLY REMOVE STEAK FROM FRIDGE AND ALLOW TO SIT UNTIL IT COMES TO ROOM TEMPERATURE THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IS A GOOD CRUST WITH PINK ON THE INSIDE SEASON WITH GOOD SALT AND PEPPER IN ADDITION TO OTHER SPICES YOU LIKE GET PAN RED HOT TRY TO AVOID VEGETABLE OIL AND USE BUTTER OR BEEF TALLOW/BACON GREASE IF YOU HAVE AVAILABLE OLIVE OIL IF YOU CARE ABOUT INCREASING HEALTHY FATS (ALSO HAD THE BENEFIT OF A HIGH BURNING TEMP IF YOU REALLY TRULY INSIST ON A MAGNIFICENT CRUST) PAN SHOULD BE CAST IRON PREFERABLY AND AS HOT AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE MAKE SURE TO PAY BOTH SIDES OF THE MEAT TO REMOVE EXCESS MOISTURE AS THIS IS IN OPPOSITION TO A GOOD CRUST DROP YOUR STEAK IN THE BUTTER AND COOK EACH SIDE FOR 23045 DEPENDING ON STEAK THICKNESS REMEMBER TO SCORE THE FAT THAT RUNS DOWN THE SIDE OF THE STEAK SO THAT IT GETS AN EVEN COOK AND DOESNT BEND (DO NOT REMOVE FAT AS YOU WANT THOSE JUICES IN THE PAN) AFTER ABOUT A MINUTE ADD EITHER GARLIC CLOVES (OR PASTE AS A SUBSTITUTE IF YOUR LAZY) AND SOME HERBS FOR FLAVOUR (PERSONALLY I PREFER GARDEN GROWN ROSEMARY BUT THYME IS OK AS WELL) WHEN YOU TURN THE STEAK OVER (AND MAKE SURE TO ONLY TURN ONCE YOU WANT A GOOD CRUST) START BASTING GENTLY WITH A TABLESPOON AFTER THE TIME IS UP REMOVE THE STEAK FROM THE PLATE AND ALLOW TO SIT UNTIL THE FIBRES HAVE CALMED DOWN ALWAYS CUT ALONG THE GRAIN AND SERVE WITH YOUR CHOICE OF MASH POTATO HOMEMADE GREEK STYLE FRIES AND TZATZIKI OR COLESLAW IF YOU DONT LIKE CARBS ADDITIONAL NOTES SERVE WITH A NICE LOCAL CABERNET SAUVIGNON AND MAKE SURE TO PLATE CORRECTLY YOU CAN ALSO MAKE NICE RED WINE REDUCED SAUCES IF YOU FEEL LIKE PUTTING IN THE EFFORT GRILLED MARINATED CARROTS AND ASPARAGUS CAN ALSO MAKE AN EXCELLENT VEGETABLE SIDE TO ROUND OUT THE MEAL IF TIME PERMITS AND YOU WANT SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL THEN YOU CAN DO SOME SOUSVIDE REVERSE SEAR NONSENSE BUT GENERALLY THIS IS SUFFICIENT FOR A NICE STEAK THAT DOESNT TAKE TERRIBLY LONG TO COOK EXCELLENT FOR DATE NIGHTS SINCE IT DOESNT TAKE AN AWKWARD AMOUNT OF TIME TO COOK AND YOU CAN MAKE CONVERSATION WITHOUT OVERSTAYING YOUR WELCOME AUSSIE ALCOHOL PAIRING RECOMMENDATIONS PENFOLDS BIN 407 2020 A VERY EXPRESSIVE RED THAT ISNT TOO EXPENSIVE EXCELLENT AND WELL KNOWN BRAND GREAT FOR STARTING CONVERSATIONS PERFECT FOR DATE NIGHT WITH A CLASSY LADY GREAT NORTHERN SUPERCRISP GENERALLY I DISLIKE BEER ALTHOUGH THIS ONE IS WEAK AT 35% ABV AND CAN SUIT A LARGE VARIETY OF PALATES CHEAP AND FUN PERFECT FOR BOYS NIGHT BBQ STARWARD TWOFOLD AN EXCELLENT AWARD WINNING AUSTRALIAN WHISKEY SINGLE MALT AND AGED IN RED WINE BARRELS WITH A FRUITY NOTE THAT WILL LEAVE YOU WANTING MORE BEST ENJOYED ON THE ROCKS IN A WHISKEY GLASS OR TUMBLER PERFECT FOR BUSINESS DISCUSSIONS OR FATHERS DAY CHAPTER 4 THUG TREK BOOTAYGER THIS IS THE ACTUAL START OF THE BOOK EVERYTHING THAT CAME BEFORE THESE WORDS IS ACTUALLY NON CANON AND ALL OF IT WAS JUST TIMEWASTING BULLSHIT THAT YOU READ BET YOU THOUGHT MODERNITY WOULD BE LESS GAY HUH LED HEADLIGHTS 5G TOWERS THOUGHT CONTROL DEVICES IMPLANTED IN THE BRAIN SELFDRIVING CARS THAT PLOW OVER PEOPLE ANYWHERE THEY GO SUICIDE BOMB DRONES THERMAL TRACKING THAT CAN INSTANTLY DETECT YOU AMONG SETS OF BUSHES AND THEN COMMUNICATE USING CHAINLINK AUTHENTICATION SERVICES TO DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE A MILITARY TARGET OUR PREDECESSORS THOUGHT THE IDEA OF THE FUTURE WAS ONE OF NEON AND EVANDERCLINTON HIGH SCHOOL IS YOUR AVERAGE PUBLIC EDUCATION AND AT EVANDER CLINTON HIGH SCHOOL IT IS KNOWN FOR TWO THINGS JERKING AWWFFFF BITING PEOPLES EARS OFF I WAS A SOFTMORE AT EVANDER CLINTON (WHICH I THINK IS AMERICAN FOR FUCKIN YEAR 10 FUCKED IF I KNOW) MY NAME ELLIOT ROSTAR AND THEN I STARTED JERKIN AWFFFF THERE WAS THIS HOLE IN HIGH SCHOOL IN THE WALL OF THE MENS BATHROOM WE CALLED IT THE DICK HOLE CUZ THE CUSTODIAN (VIETNAM VET) DICK ALWAYS LEFT IT OPEN TO SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU USE THIS FOR BUT I DONT CARE WE USED IT AS A MEME SHRINE AND A STORAGE AND DROP OFF PLACE FOR DRUGS AND DRUG DEALS MAINLY WEED OR VYVANSE MOST OF THE TIME THE WEED WAS CRAP BUT I EXPECTED THAT ONE DAY SOME FUCKING DISGUSTING ROASTIES WERE VAPING IN THE MENS BATHROOM (THEY DO THIS TO GET THE BLAME SHIFTED TO US (THERE ARE SMOKE DETECTORS IN THEIR BATHROOM APPARENTLY (UTTER BULLSHIT))) SO WE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM AND TOSSED THEM DOWN THE EXPOSED OUTSIDE METAL STAIRCASE THINGS ARE RUSTED TO SHIT SO THEY PROBABLY HAVE INFECTIONS NOW WE LAUGHED AND SMOKED A JOINT AT THE BASE OF THE STAIRWELL IN FULL VIEW OF THE NEW SECURITY CAMERAS (NO WONDER WE CANT AFFORD A NEW SPANISH TEACHER WHO ISNT A PEDOPHILE) AFTER THAT WE HEAD TO RED DRAGON HOT NOODLE TO BUY SOME RED DRAGON HOT NOODLES SHITS SO SPICY IT INTENSIFIES THE HIGH UNTIL ITS 1230 PM AND WE REALIZE WE HAVE A 10 MINUTE WALK BACK TO CLASS AND WERE ALREADY 5 MINUTES LATE BECAUSE WE WERE TWEAKING OFF BRICKWEED AND SRIRACHA SAUCE WHEN I GOT TO CLASS I OPENED UP MY LAPTOP AND BOOTED UP DISCORD INSTEAD OF SCHOOLWORK (ITS ALL NWO BRAINWASHING ANYWAY BESIDES IM GONNA BE A WELDER AND HAVE 9 WIVES ON MY OWN PLOT OF LAND SO HIGH SCHOOL DOESNT COUNT) I GIGGLE FEROCIOUSLY AT THE FINE SHITPOSTS DISPLAYED BEFORE ME (THE ROOM IS DEAD SILENT BECAUSE WERE TAKING A TEST) I BOOT UP MY HEAVILY MODDED NEW VEGAS GAME CAUSING MY GAMING LAPTOP TO SET ITS COOLING FANS TO F35 AT 100M ALTITUDE WITH AFTERBURNER ON I REQUEST TO SIT IN THE HALL THIS REQUEST IS GRANTED WHAT I ACTUALLY DO IS PLUG INTO THE OUTLET IN THE LARGEST STALL IN THE BATHROOM AND ALSO PLUG IN MY JUUL CHARGER I SAT IN THE BATHROOM VAPING AND SHITPISTING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS ON THE TRAIN RIDE HOME THERE WAS A HOMELESS CRACKHEAD WHO HAD SO MUCH DIRT ON HIM I SWEAR BROCADE CRAWLED OUT OF THE TRENCHES BUT HE WAS ALSO ACTIVELY HIGH ON FENTANYL AND THEN I STARTED JERKIN AWFFFF (WRITING THIS DOWN SO I DONT FORGET) RICE NOODLES BEEF WHITE CASTLE CHEESEBURGER MICROWAVEABLE 16 PACK 2 MONSTER ENERGY BAG OF POTATO CHIPS SPRING ONION GARLIC HEAD BAG OF TATER TOTS 2 MICROWAVEABLE CHICKEN POT PIES TOMATOES THANKS FOR LETTING ME PUT THIS HERE JEFF NO PROBLEM JIM HEY JEFF DID YOU GET THAT PAPERWORK THE CFO ASKED FOR NO JIM I WAS TOO BUSY FUCKING YOUR WIFE HAHAHAHAHA CLASSIC JEFF NO BUT SERIOUSLY DID YOU GET THAT PAPERWORK IN WELL IM WORKING ON IT JUST TOO BUSY FUCKING YOUR WIFE JIM YOU REMEMBER WHAT THE CFO SAID HE WOULD DO IF YOU DIDNT GET THAT PAPERWORK IN ON TIME DONT YOU JEFF AND THEN I STARTED JERKIN AWWFFFF AND THEN I STARTED JERKIN AWWFFF
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